


Spiral

by filthinbeau



Category: KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Casual Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-22
Updated: 2012-11-22
Packaged: 2017-12-31 01:38:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1025771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/filthinbeau/pseuds/filthinbeau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kame is not the only one hoping for the world to disappear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spiral

 

It's a sick sensation that spreads to his stomach when he realises. Gravity is knocked off its axis and Kame can't hold the world in his grip, on his shoulder tonight. His insides are churning and the feeling floods through his lungs, rising up to the throat until he's sure he is about to throw up.

And then it changes, it's like the sensation one gets as early as three in the morning, unable to put yourself to sleep. Too excited or too nervous to just curl up or drift into a calm state. It's that feeling when the muscles within the limbs begin to spasm, reforming in that moment and taking in the new shapes easily like changing expressions.

A splash of water on his face, it's not enough tonight. It's never been enough but he used to be able to handle all of it. Now he can't breathe, can't swallow and there's a numbing dull ache that forms under his skin that refuse to go away no matter how much he tries to ignore.

Kame laughs, a slow, deep and hollow into the mirror in front of him, the grip he has on the marble sink is trembling as he does. He can feel his forehead growing warm, and his chest tortured with a rapid knocking of the heart within him.

It's hard to describe what he feels, what he really wants to feel right at the moment, and the look in Ueda's eyes, that he catches inside of the reflection in the mirror alongside his own confirms the stir of confusion in him.

It takes more than a minute for him to snap, at the other's presence, at the observant stare fix to his whole being, but finally it happens. Kame doesn't know if Ueda notices how it irks him to no end with his constant attempt to read him, without any words being thrown to him in the process but manages to spark even the tiniest bit of annoyance to him. Afraid he may appear to be too transparent.

"Don't stick your nose into something not in your line of concern, Tatsuya."

But Ueda just need a couple of seconds to answer him, like he is expecting that kind of rebuff.

"You're so obvious when you try that hard."

Instantly Kame wants to leave. Bolt, right there, get out and run and never stop, from whatever this is, away from his band mate, but vacuum prevents him, and so he grits his teeth and tries not to think about it. Because it sucks to look like the weak one, he will be one if he lifts his feet and walking away from there.

"I'm perfectly fine."

But he's so far from that.

 

"What if-" Kame slurs, and this is one of those rare nights he despises so terribly how easy the alcohol taking over whatever the conscience still left in him, because he can't stop even the smallest details coming out of his mouth.

They're already exiting the place, walking in the secluded area, there's smoke and flashing neon lights everywhere in the city. Both of them are slightly more unhinged than they normally are, liquor staining their shirt and Ueda can breathe cigarette smoke on the other. "What if they give up on us?"

That is the thing that scares him the most.

"We will make it." Ueda pauses. "I won't let it happen." Funny how it sounds more like an attempt to convince himself rather than to put some reassurance to the younger, who normally the one reassuring people under normal circumstances. Alcohol definitely the one to blame here, always manage to make him appear out of character, so uncertain and pessimistic.

But some says it brings out the true nature of one's character instead.

"What if-" Kame staggers a bit in his step. "What if someday i quit?"

They stop in track, Kame's hand rest on the curve of Ueda's shoulder, and he make sure that he doesn't break the eye contact, although it's somehow hard to keep it still with a spinning head, but still he focuses on the other, the center blur, and fuzzy and bitter. The growing stronger of the blending of whiskey and vodka smell serving as a warning as Kame narrows the space between them.

"Then we'll find out when we reach that someday." Ueda says firmly, though he has another answer to be reply with, at least the one that he thinks he knows what Kame prefers to hear, but it fall deep into the back of his mind when Kame yanks the collar of his denim jacket.

It's one of the warmest wall behind Ueda's back that he heavily rely on when Kame pushes him against it, contrasting with the cold night. Their mouth meet with a crash, teeth clank together and Kame bites Ueda's tongue hard enough that he can taste copper inside.

Up close they are able to see the sincere tone of their skin, void from any thick and heavy make up, unable to hide all those wild possibilities running through their minds.

There's a bit of fumbling when Ueda is the sole one supporting the weight of them two, tasting the blood in his mouth that Kame swipes from the little cut on his lips, until an empty space with a lingering breathe connect them both since Kame pulls away without Ueda even realise it.

"It's dirty here."

 

They don't talk about it anymore. Not the future, not the drunken conversations.

And such it's a wound tending, in fact, occur. Mutual or not, Kame can't quite putting it together. Hard to tell, even though seemingly Ueda is as eager as him. Pretty much.

Ueda climbs his body, thus leading them both, shoving his hand down Kame's pants, and mouth his neck. Kame lets him because he's greedy for this and he likes the temperature of Ueda's body colliding with his own; he's warm and now they are burning. Kame can see the patterns in his dark eyes, looking away from him to focus on his task, the details of emotion even clearer than before.

"Don't give me that fucking look." Ueda mutters tersely. "You need this."

"You need this too." _Fucking hell._ Kame spats back, and then he trembles badly to the feel of the heel of Ueda's hand presses against the sharp edge of his hip, around his erection, and how Ueda seems to be memorising the way Kame shivers as he watches him comes.

Ueda is furious and scorching, and hungry wolf-alike. He is bitter and raw and dangerously sharp still, teeth like knives drags down his body, hands gripping to tight for Kame to think, though he shouldn't be one in the first place. Slowly Kame can feels submerging into an ocean of flames, clinging to something he is sure to slip out of him soon.

Their passions are bruising and unyielding, and Ueda is biting down his lips to muffle his cries of groans, moving, shaking, and sweating and babbling incoherently into Kame's mouth. He is not listening as he buries his own secrets into Kame's skin, something that he can't say normally, and Kame waits for the world to disappear by Ueda's thrusts and touch, blazing so hot he can't stand it.

They have turn into an object and a reflection in the mirror, twisting and breaking almost too synchronisely, and scarcely breathing, burning too bright to last much longer.

So they drown in the meantime, and let the damnation taking over, and lose themselves in each other. Because Kame is not the only one drowning out thoughts with merely a disengaged affection.

But for now the center of Ueda's palm becomes his comfort zone.

 


End file.
